Saturday, 1 September 2012

In the beginning … Trying to conceive – Part 1

While possibly a bit predictable, it still makes sense (and satisfies the list maker in me) to start from the very beginning and share our trying to conceive story on a blog about motherhood and parenting. So here is our story…

... While I have always wanted children, when I was in my mid-20’s it was important for me to tick off a few career goals before starting a family. One such goal was to reach a senior level in my profession. My thinking behind this was that if I had at least reached a senior level, I could take time off to have my babies and return to work part-time while my children were young, without it affecting my career path. Coincidentally, the year I was able to achieve this coveted senior position was also the year I turned 30! Whether it was one or the other, or a combination of both of those things, I felt a shift in my priorities and decided that I was ready to start a family. Now I just had to convince my husband! But unfortunately the subtle cues and suggestions I started using with hubbie weren’t getting through. What’s the rush? We just got married. Are you sure we’re ready? He asked. He was preoccupied with the importance of his work and from his perspective we had heaps of time for children … later. But how long waslater  I wondered? 6 months? One year? Two years? Sure enough, we had only been married for 12 months and had just become the proud owners of our first puppy together which, incidentally hubbie thought would give him at least a couple of years reprieve before I wanted to start a family! But being the planner that I am, waiting for later concerned me. I had known friends and family who had tried to conceive for years. Some had gone through IVF and were thankfully able to conceive, but this wasn’t always the case. Being 30 and ideally wanting to have completed our family by the time I was 35 (if we were able), wasn’t giving us as much time for later  as he thought.

So I kept persisting (nudging, urging, pleading) and finally convinced hubbie that we might not ever be totally “ready” to start a family, but since there were no major reasons stopping us, why not now? I went off the pill, upgraded our private health insurance, got pre-pregnancy blood tests and started tracking my cycle, taking my temperature, using the Maybe Baby ovulation tester, taking folic acid, the works …. I thought if we’re going to do this, we’re going to do it properly! At first, hubbie was happy for it to just happen if it happens but as I mentioned in my first post About Me (Facebook – 28/07/2012), we’re opposites which of course meant that for me it couldn’t just happen! Didn’t he realise that the chance of a healthy couple our age conceiving was only 25% each month at best! This baby making would be planned, prepared for and well thought out.

So a few months later our trying to conceive journey (reluctantly, or so he says!) began. While I was realistic and didn’t think we’d fluke it and fall pregnant straight away, months went by with still no sign of the baby I had begun to crave. In the early months if my cycle went even a few days longer than normal I was there ready with a pregnancy test. But month after month, my cycle continued as normal. No double blue line, no baby, nothing. And each month I didn’t fall pregnant was a blow. There were feelings of sadness, disappointment, failure and a few tears. But there was also hope (and a fair amount of stubbornness!) so we kept on trying...

... Fast forward almost a year and we were still trying. I was starting to get concerned, surely it wasn’t meant to be this hard?

This concludes Part 1 of our trying to conceive story. Stay tuned for Part 2 next week! Mel xx

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